Canticle 64
in hommage to "Ammo Boxes Icons" works
“I am bound
by the scriptural texts I have cited,
and my conscience is bound
by the words of God;
I cannot,
nor will I
recant in any way,
for it is neither safe
nor honorable
to act against one’s own conscience.
I cannot otherwise;
here I stand;
so help me God.”
(Excerpt from Martin Luther’s speech at the Diet of Worms, April 18, 1521)
I am bound
by a force I do not understand,
to Bucha, Bakhmut, Kherson, Mariupol, Melitopol…
Simply by human dignity,
maybe…
I cannot,
nor do I want to
give up hope
in justice
and resurrection.
Here I am,
standing before planks,
nailed and pierced,
like Christ.
Unable to see them any other way,
and yet unable to forget
that they once held weapons
and that weapons are made to kill…
Our poor existences
can perhaps be summed up in their entirety
to this untenable in-between:
to resemble Christ
and being capable of killing…
I can already hear
those who say that it is precisely
that’s why
we must give up all resistance,
surrender to the oppressor,
accept being annihilated;
that virtue lies
only through sacrifice.
Perhaps we are not divine enough
for that…
Or perhaps we understand
differently
the responsibility to build community
and to help
other human beings…
Perhaps these judgments
don’t really make sense
when Christ joins us
in the heart of the darkness
of hell
that we are so adept at creating on Earth,
and reminds us
of His own wrath
against those who trample on
childhood
and the name of God…
And even if we are
disciples,
if we are entitled to that title,
which, in all humility,
we allow ourselves to doubt,
We who do not wield
the Name
to justify our violence…
So we know we are fallible,
asleep and weeping
on the eve of every disaster
ready to wield a sword
again and again,
just as ready to deny Him in the depths of our nights…
Perhaps accepting
that Christ died,
like you yourself
in the face of the impossible choices
that the world demands of you…
So let this idea settle,
for centuries to come,
deep within your soul,
to reach the simplicity
of the Desert Fathers,
like so many steps
that enable us
to move from the death of Jesus
to the eternity of Christ,
because it’s not intuitive,
you know that…
The sorrows of the world,
endured by Christ,
carried in His mother’s womb,
allow you to weep
for eternity,
you too, like everyone else,
to find refuge
from your pain and your chaos…
And in the radiance,
that then emerges,
you will find the strength
to pray
for all hearts,
for virtue and justice,
to turn away from hatred,
and to keep living,
and to fight,
in harmony with your needs,
your ethics,
your weaknesses,
and your guilty conscience…
